They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
