last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Randomize