In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
