So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize