he puts the penis in happiness.
you would pick up someone in the library
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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