i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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