Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
