He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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