You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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