so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
