my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
