And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
