my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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