drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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