She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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