Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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