The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
