then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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