Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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