I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
