the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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