How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
this beer tastes like vomit already
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
