i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
