Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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