If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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