Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
