im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
