I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize