what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Randomize
