You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
