i just had sex bonerless
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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