I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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