Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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