He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
