There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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