I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
