Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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