Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
soo... how was my night?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
