We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
