everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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