i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
