sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
