"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
