Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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