Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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