Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
