No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
