My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
