just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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