even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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