We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
