he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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