I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
