I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
