you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize