sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
