smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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