Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
