they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
